SPRING IN BAD SALZHAUSEN

I've just come back from my seventh visit to Dr Herzog's clinic in the second half of March. I wasn't much looking forward to it - not least because in the month or so since my last trip 3 people who I'd met there have died. I've felt very sad for them and their families, plus of course it's a stark reminder that in spite of all the positive spirit there, cancer is still a formidable illness. 


Yet day to day I make sure I don't focus on that, and although I don't know exactly how much effect one's attitude has on the body, it certainly makes life a great deal more bearable to assume that I can make a significant difference to the quality and length of my life. So I geared myself up for the stay by stopping off en route for a relaxed weekend in Brussels with my friend Catherine, which I really enjoyed, and which meant I arrived at the clinic feeling encouraged and positive. It was lovely to meet old friends and new, and to find that the warmth and support continues just as strongly between fellow patients.

Meal out at the local Greek restaurant

There were some irritations - the clinic was very busy, and things were a bit chaotic at times. You soon start feeling vulnerable when the nurses are so busy they're forgetting things, and feeling angry can quickly follow on from that (especially when you're paying a considerable amount of money for the treatments), so there were quite a few disgruntled conversations at mealtimes, swapping stories about things slipping through the net or not happening as they should. Some of these clearly need to be addressed, and a number of us fed back constructive criticism in various ways. However, it also made me realise how focused I am on efficiency (linked to my constant drive to be "busy"), and how impatient and judgemental I can get with others as well as myself (though I do my best not to show it). Getting irritated when things take longer than I want isn't a very therapeutic state of mind, so I'm working on learning to be less fixated on how things "should" be, and to let go of what I can't control. A tough challenge for a control freak! but I guess you have to start somewhere.


The chemo procedure in the middle went smoothly, and although afterwards I had some side-effects of a slightly inflamed stomach and abdomen (the blood supply to the stomach is very close to the site of the chemo), both the surgeon and Dr Herzog are pleased with how I'm doing. I certainly feel very well overall on the the treatment, and I'm delighted that both doctors agreed to leave 7 weeks till the next procedure, to see whether we can maintain this progress with a longer interval. If not, we'll bring forward the subsequent treatment, but if things stay stable we'll try to increase the time between, bit by bit.


Like most of Europe, we had a spell of wonderful spring weather, and I made sure to spend at least some time every day out in the parks, walking, listening to the birdsong, and soaking up the sunshine. 

One of the parks here has a collection of modern art and sculptures, which I've passed many times but didn't know anything about. However this time a fellow patient met one of the artists, who kindly took a group of us around the park to tell us about the works. They're mostly from various symposia, where artists from both Germany and further afield come for 10 days and work in situ on their pieces. Some works are figurative, others more abstract, and it was fascinating to understand a bit more about their meanings and intentions. 

I've taken lots of photos of the artworks over my various visits, so I'll include more on later posts.

"Easter tree" in the clinic dining room

I wish you all a very happy Easter!