WEDDING IN SAVANNAH

I was delighted to be invited to the wedding of a good friend, Kristin, in Savannah, Georgia, USA. I got to know her nearly a decade ago when she lived in London; she now lives in Switzerland, but her family and her fiancé are American. 

However, deciding whether or not I should go was a huge dilemma. Much as I wanted to be there, I was nervous about travelling while on chemo, especially with two long flights for my body to deal with, and these fears were fuelled by being unable to get any travel insurance which would cover illness related to the cancer or treatment. I rang 27 different insurance companies, all claiming to specialise in covering medical conditions, and was refused by all but one, who offered cover only if I could show normal blood counts just before travel. Not surprisingly, my blood counts weren't up to scratch (as you'd expect on chemo), and although my medical team were happy for me to go, the interactions with the insurance companies really shook my faith and made me wonder whether I was being totally reckless to consider the trip. There was no problem getting insurance that didn't cover cancer-related problems, but if I'd ended up in hospital with an infection or blood clot, the medical bills could have been astronomical, and I was scared I'd blame myself for being so stupid (or arrogant) as to think I could possibly get away with it.

It was also a difficult decision to make because in one way I wanted to refuse to let cancer stop me doing what I want, yet I've also come to recognise that I do need to accept that it (and certainly the chemo) inevitably limit what I'm capable of coping with at the moment. I found it hard, in the middle of all this agonising, to work out whether wanting to go was a positive determination to live life to the fullest, or a kind of bloody-mindedness to do the kinds of things I used to do no matter what the toll on my body might be (especially as, to fit around my treatment here, I could only spare 4 days there, plus a day either side travelling).

In the end I realised that, to me, the reason for having treatment and making so much effort to stay as well as possible for as long as possible is to be able to be part of significant life events, and to share experiences with the people who matter to me. So off I went! and I'm so glad I did.

It was an amazing few days - because many people had travelled a long way, there were several days of events, including a welcome dinner, a bridal shower, the rehearsal dinner at a historic fort, and then the ceremony itself in Savannah's main park, with the reception at a nearby hotel. 

With Mischa (left) and Kristin at the welcome barbeque

With Mischa and Sharon at the rehearsal dinner in the fort

The wedding venue in the park

The lovely Kristin and Bruce

All glammed up with Sharon and bridesmaid Mischa

Morning-after brunch with the London lot

There were half a dozen friends I already knew, and other guests were very friendly. Savannah's historic district is beautiful, with big elegant colonial houses set around verdant squares, and we managed to explore most of it and hang out at some of the cafes. Sadly the weather wasn't as warm as usual for the time of year, but it was sunny some of the time, the trees were in blossom and there were large bushes of flowering azaleas everywhere - and I was very happy to have missed the snow in the UK! 

I stayed in a rental house with Sharon, which was cosy, stylish, and much more relaxed than a hotel. 

It wasn't easy some of the time: having spent the last 6 months reducing my horizons and living in a bit of a bubble, I found I was quite nervous about being out of my comfort zone. I worried a lot about getting tired, and not having so much control over what I ate. Having done so much travelling in the past - including intrepid trips on my own to challenging destinations - it was humbling, and painful, to discover how neurotic and vulnerable I felt at times being in an unfamiliar place. But counterbalancing all that was that it was just lovely to be part of the wedding, to be there for Kristin and Bruce, and not to feel excluded from "normal life". It was a very special time, and I know it meant a great deal to them as well for me to be there. And after the roller-coaster of "will I / won't I be able to go" it felt like a small miracle to get there and for everything to go OK; I'm very relieved and grateful.

Sunset over the riverfront