SEPTEMBER DOWN THE DRAIN

After the first week of chemo I'd expected to feel better, but I began to feel rather off-colour. My stomach felt unsettled and although I didn't exactly have nausea I found it difficult to face eating or drinking much; two or three times when I tried to eat in spite of this aversion I was sick. I took my left-over anti-nausea tablets and expected it would improve once I finished the chemo tablets a fortnight after the intravenous infusion. However, instead I developed severe diarrhoea, vomiting and fever, and ended up in hospital for 12 days.

 

Although there can always be different causes and it seems it's often impossible to know for sure, the most likely explanation for this episode was that I'd picked up a nasty gastric virus, which I'd been fending off for a week or so while I was off my food. A couple of weeks after chemo is when it has its biggest effect on the immune system, and at that point my white blood cells fell to very low levels (known as being neutropenic) and I was no longer able to fight off the virus and it all flared up. The doctors didn't find any evidence of a bacterial infection, but when you're neutropenic any bacteria can be life-threatening, so they treated me with heavy-duty antibiotics as a preventive measure, and although that's essential it also takes its toll on the body. I continued to have bad diarrhoea (which the antibiotics could have also been contributing to), and occasional vomiting, and this meant I lost a lot of fluid and electrolytes (the mineral salts which are needed for cell functioning), especially as I remained unable to stomach food or water for more than a week. So I was on a drip continuously to replenish water, glucose, magnesium and potassium, until my immune system recovered from the chemo and my body gradually fought off the virus. It took rather longer than we'd all hoped, and I felt extremely weak and depleted (especially as I'd been run-down for a week or so before I was admitted), but little by little things stabilised and I started being able to eat and drink again. A dietician also temporarily prescribed high-calorie supplement drinks and vitamin infusions to help me get some strength back.

 

I was in Chelsea & Westminster hospital, as the Marsden hadn't any beds free, and the upside of being neutropenic when I was admitted was that I had my own room, in a brand-new ward far nicer than any I've ever seen in the NHS. The staff were all very friendly and obliging, and I was very well supported by a loyal band of family and friends who visited, brought me things, texted or phoned to keep in touch, and this really helped. Apologies to anyone who's emailed me and had no response during this time - I'll work through the backlog presently!

 

Although all my blood counts are fine now, this has hit me hard and I realise I'll need to take things easy for a bit. I lost nearly half a stone in 3 weeks, and am pretty exhausted - walking and standing is quite tiring, my concentration is patchy and I need to rest after doing anything, which is a bit disoncerting.

 

So I've come to stay with my sister Belinda for a few days to convalesce, and it's great both having company and being looked after while I build up my energy and stamina. Although after so long lying in a hospital bed it felt rather daunting to re-enter the world, actually it's been wonderful to regain some normality and I'm really taking pleasure in spending time with her and my nephews. For a fortnight I couldn't imagine ever wanting to eat again, but in fact I'm almost continually hungry, and loving making the most of Belinda's wonderful home cooking!

My second cycle of chemo has of course been delayed, but I'm due back at the Marsden next week, and they'll review then when to re-start. I'll post another update once that's decided - of course I need to be strong enough, but equally we don't want to leave any longer gap than necessary. At least it seems as though only the first few days of tiredness were side-effects of the chemo, and that all the later gastric symptoms were hopefully just a one-off. Fingers crossed, anyway!