ORCHESTRA ACTIVITIES

London Lawyers' Symphony Orchestra has been a very important part of my life all the time I've been in London - I've played in it since 1994, leading it since 1999, and have been on the committee for most of that time. Although I opted out of the concert in December 2010, as I was just starting chemo (only the third concert I've missed in all those years!), since then I've been playing regularly and finding renewed pleasure in it. 


As Social Secretary I organise an annual social and musical weekend away, which for some years now has been at Charney Manor, a beautiful old house in the Oxfordshire countryside. I was worried I might not be well enough to go this year, as it took place soon after I was discharged from hospital, but perhaps it was actually a good incentive to recover quickly! The weekend was very successful, with a a chamber choir as well as a small group of string players,  and we had an idyllic weekend playing string quartets (and the odd duet, octet and quintet, albeit in rather unconventional arrangements!), eating wonderful home-grown food, and chilling out in the sunshine in the beautifully-kept gardens. 

Playing in the barn

Charney Manor

Tea break on the lawn

MINI HOLIDAY IN CROATIA

I spent the first two or three months after diagnosis getting the hang of the hospital system, having rounds of tests and doing lots of reading and research into cancer - important and useful, but also draining and all-consuming. So once I discovered that the chemo was manageable, I was desperate to get away for a break and change of scene. Getting travel insurance proved to be a bureaucratic (and financial) nightmare, but I found an off-season deal at a luxury spa hotel in Croatia, on the coast close to Dubrovnik, and had 3 wonderful days there with my friend Catherine. 

Catherine in our luxurious suite

In the hotel gardens

Sunset view from our window

We made full use of the sauna, aromatic steam rooms, swimming pool, jacuzzi and massage therapists - the ideal setting to spend some really nice time together - as well as visiting Dubrovnik's old town. A tonic in every way!

BACKGROUND

In November 2010 I was diagnosed with secondary cancer in the liver. No definite primary has been found, and although doctors think it is most likely to have originated in the bile duct, based on the biopsy tissue, it remains the fairly rare presentation of cancer of unknown primary (CUP). Surgery wasn't an option, as too much of the liver was involved, so I wound things up at work by the end of November, was signed off on sick leave, and started on palliative chemotherapy at the beginning of December 2010. 


I'm under the care of the Royal Marsden Hospital in South Kensington, London (conveniently close to where I live), and I've had 9 cycles of chemo (Gemcitabine and Cisplatin). Each cycle consisted of treatment 1 day a week, with 2 weeks on and 1 week off. Each session was a long day, arriving first thing in the morning and often not getting home till 6 or 7 pm, but I usually managed to go to one of the many nearby cafes for lunch - I got to know the area well! 


Overall I tolerated the chemo very well, feeling tired at times but manageably so. I lost my sense of taste for the first couple of months, which took all pleasure out of eating, but thankfully regained it with the help of acupuncture, and I still hugely appreciate being able to savour food and drink - it makes such a difference to morale! I also experienced a lot of thinning of my hair from April to July, which I hated (strands fell out continually, especially when I washed it), but compared to the other side-effects I could have had (nausea, ulcers, nervous system damage or kidney failure) I got off extremely lightly.


As you may not be surprised to hear, I've also pursued alternative therapies to help me stay as healthy as possible. I have weekly acupuncture, see a cranial osteopath, take homeopathic remedies, go to a healer, and have changed my diet (cutting out dairy and sugar). For the emotional side of things, I saw a counsellor for a couple of months, and had a few sessions with a hypnotherapist, both of which have helped me not to get too overwhelmed by worries and fears, and to adjust to the uncertainty. I use self-hypnosis and visualisation every day - it's been interesting and rewarding to go back to some of the skills I routinely used in my work with clients before I trained in clinical psychology. On the whole I've been surprised and pleased at how positive I feel most of the time, and I'm learning to let go of trying to plan things too much and just take it a step at a time. Although it's impossible to know for sure, I'm certain that all of these helped me come through the chemo relatively smoothly, as I'm told that most people on this combination have a much harder time than I did. 


However during my 9th cycle, in June 2011, I found it harder going, and was admitted to the Marsden for a week in early July with severe abdominal pain and inflammation, fever, and very low blood counts. I was given a blood transfusion and intravenous antibiotics in case it was a infection, but since no bacteria were found it could well have been caused by accumulating toxicity from the chemo. Being in hospital was pretty grim (I definitely prefer being an employee of the NHS to being a patient!) and it knocked my confidence and morale in a big way. 


The chemo was more successful than the doctors had expected, shrinking some of the tumours, but since the Marsden's only plan was to keep going with chemo as long as I could bear it, I did a lot of research into integrative approaches to cancer care, and found that Germany appears to be at the forefront of innovative treatment combined with complementary therapies. I went on a recce trip to southeastern and central Germany in late June, with my friend Jacqie, visiting 2 clinics and having consultations with the head doctor at each, and from that decided to go to Dr Herzog's clinic for treatment (www.fachklinikdrherzog.de).